A lesson from being a mother who is living abroad.

Your kids are eating while walking around, it is fine for me. Your kids can sit silently while eating, it is also fine for me.

You do breastfeeding, lovely. You do formula milk to your kid, a very good choice.

You are a stay home mother, respect. You are a working mother, two thumbs up.

Your kids don’t want to eat veggie, that’s normal. Your kids love to eat, that’s also normal.

You have a baby sitter, nice. You do everything alone, a great spirit.

Your baby sleeps in the same room with you, why not. Your baby sleeps in another room, cool.

You let your kids to watch tv, nice. You don’t let your kids play with ipad, good.

Who am I to judge another mother ?

Every mother has her own battle.

I and my husband are in so called mix-marriage. I’m from Indonesia and he is from The Netherland.

I have my own culture, he brings his own as well.

I can not lie to my soul that I’m Indonesian. Naturally I raise my kid like the way my mother raise me. That’s how the nature works.

My husband also has his own identity when he plays and speaks and laughs together with Daniel. I respect him.

Both, we try to make a bridge between 2 cultures in every single way… especially on how we raise Daniel.

He can sit only maximal 20 minutes during dinner. That’s fine. Make the family dinner as fun as possible.

He slept with us when he was baby. We find it lovely.

He chosed by himself to sleep in the toddler bed when he was 1,5 years old. Great.

We let Daniel to explore and learn from his mistake by letting him fall down (when it is not too dangerous). We think it’s the best way for him to control his own emotion.

He was a breastfeed-kid until 20 months old. I’m proud of that.

He is a natural veggie eater and we are still trying to make him eating chicken and beef. We are fine with that.

Every parents has their own battle.

Every parents has their story.

Every parents has their survival tips.

Having a kids are the greatest gift. That’s why it’s never an easy tasks.

I always remind myself never to say “You have to do this and that….”, “This is the best way to do…” to another parents. If they love their kids, they sincerely wanted to do the best for the family, how dare I am giving advices like I know them well?

It’s better to say “what can I do to help you?” or “let’s have a great food” or just say “that’s normal” while offering a cup of hot chocolate.

Living abroad and being in a mix-marriage, making me more understand my own value. I become more flexible and also have more respect to other parents choice. At the end, a home is where your heart is and my heart is for my family, Daniel and Luc.

Warm greetings,

Sekar Steenwelle-Nareswari


I love this picture.

This was after dinner time. He wanted me to carry him.




I said to Luc “Don’t give me any present for my birthday, I have everything I want. Let’s make a great toddler room for our son”.




While Daniel played in the playground, we managed to make picture together.




Daniel with his cousins, Lise and Pim.





I’m so blessed that I have a very supporting and lovely family. I can not be a happily survive mother, without their love. Thank you so much.

(While I’m writing this, Daniel is with them in their house…that’s why I have a few hours free for a me-time) (^_^)


7 thoughts on “A lesson from being a mother who is living abroad.

  1. mamakarti says:

    Waowwww! Your words slapped me! Perjuangan banget ni untuk not judging other parents, padahal, aku kl diceramahi ibu2 lain tu….”sakitnyaaa” hahaa! Very nice article


  2. Sekar Nareswari says:

    hehe paham rasane… aku yo ladang diceramahi kok.. aku lihat2 watak orangnya sih.. kalau sekedar nyeramahi tanpa nyuruh aku ngikutin arahannya yo wes aku biarkan saja tp kalau pakai kata “kamu harus….kayak gini kayak gitu”… biasanya aku jawab “iya.. aku akan begitu kalau anakku itu anakmu, keluargamu keluargaku.. tapi sayangnya tidak… 🙂 jd aku punya prinsip sendiri”. 😀


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