The Wedding of my brother gives me a thought “what is the value of the wedding in Indonesia?”

I and my husband married in Holland, in a small village called Luttenberg.

According to Indonesian culture, we have a very simple wedding. According to the custom in Holland, we have a quite festive wedding.

So, I never experienced traditional wedding in Indonesia.

This week, we are in Indonesia to attend my brother’s wedding. I, as his sister, of course, attended to all his wedding event, which lasted for 2 days.

During the wedding, the question I got most is “Is a wedding in Holland different than in here?” or a similar question “Do people in Holland have the same value about marriage like Indonesian?”.

I begin to question many things… what is actually the value of the wedding in Indonesia ?

All what I will write is based on my experiences and my opinion…

Let’s begin with the invitation :


This invitation shows that the one who invite is the parents, not the brides.

This is a family celebration, a big family celebration. It’s not only the brides who wants to share the happiness.

I remembered that I asked my husband “Do I have to put our parent’s name in our wedding invitation?” He replied “No, it’s not common here”.

Most people in Indonesia (including me) value a wedding as an indication that a person who has wedding will start her/his own life… Out from home.

and yes… most of the wedding in Indonesia is financed by the bride’s parents. It is not a shame or means that the brides can not finance themselves.

Ya, because the parents who held the party. What they celebrate is for now on……my child will have her/his own life with her/his significant other.

That is the value… A wedding is a letting go party… a farewell party between parents and children.

It should be a moment that both have to work on together. I have to tell you… the work of a wedding organiser in Indonesia is difficult because they have to make everybody happy… there are many wills, many needs, many hopes from both parents, brides, and not mention aunties, uncles, grandma, grandpa…



This is the wedding party of my brother.

The brides took picture with the relatives of the groom. 🙂 I was in front, hold my son.



This picture showed that the brides ask permission to both parents and the parents give advice for them.

This moment is always a very touching moment.. (at least for me).

One time I asked my husband “I think we should do this also for our wedding”. He said “hah… no.. it’s not common”.

Ok… now I understand. It is because it’s not common to bend in front of parents (like in the picture).



Yep !! He is my lovely brother and his lovely wife. I love them both to the moon and beyond.

They really, really match to each other. When I see them, it’s like I see me and my husband relationship.

They adore each other and are willing to be a better person for each other.

I hope the best for them. I wish for a long lasting happy marriage.

I hope that this summer they can visit us in Holland. I really do hope so. 🙂

Love you both, from us, The Steenwelle.


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